7 Strategies for a Stress-free Sober Holiday
Staying sober through the Holidays is one of the most courageous things you can do, whether you’re new to recovery, choosing a healthier sober lifestyle or have years of sobriety under your belt. The Holidays can be hard and triggering on so many levels; filled with anxiety, expectations, family dynamics, parties and lots of potentially uncomfortable social situations.
This blog is all about sharing strategies and ideas to help you navigate Holiday triggers with grace and confidence.
If you’re new to sobriety, consider chatting with a sober friend about the emotions and triggers attached to seasonal stressors. They might have great insight to share from their own experiences. And whatever stage of sobriety you’re at, take time to think ahead and acknowledge your vulnerabilities for whatever social situation is coming up on your calendar; that way you can fortify yourself with solid strategies and build the confidence you need to get through the whirlwind of the Holidays! To get you started, we’ve compiled a list of 7 helpful tips for de-stressing and enjoying all the festivities of this season.
7 great tips for your next holiday party or family gathering:
Bring a sober buddy: Enlist a friend, tell them you don’t want to drink, and ask them to be your anchor point for the night. Empower yourself with companionship in situations where you might feel triggered. Having a buddy there to keep you accountable to your goals is a great point of strength (for you both!)
Have your elevator speech ready: Know what you want to say when asked if you would like a drink or drugs. Rehearse your speech with a sober friend or even in the mirror. Be polite, kind and non-confrontational. Remember, you don’t have to explain yourself, so sometimes a simple yet firm “No, thank you” is enough. An honest and straight to the point “I’m in Recovery” might also be your choice, depending on the company and your comfort level. You can always have a couple more funny/deflective retorts up your sleeve as well, like “The hot mess express doesn’t stop here anymore” or “I’m on a cleanse” or “Alcohol gives me headaches.” “No thanks, I’m driving” is also a pretty fail safe response in any company. Be ready for an awkward silence upon occasion; sometimes it takes a moment for another person to process your positive life choices.
But even through these little moments of awkwardness, stay confident and calm.
You’ve got this! And, if you feel tempted, it’s always okay to step away for a moment. Reach out to someone on your list of superstar sober supporters or remove yourself from the triggering situation entirely; it’s ok to go .. your commitment to your recovery is more important
Serve yourself: BYOB is a GREAT holiday strategy. Bring your own sober libations (see our next post for ideas) and keep your beverage near so you can refill as needed. This way, you won’t have to turn down offers for something to drink - you’ll have a full glass already! Also, lots of folks these days are choosing NA beverages for a variety of health reasons, so you can always bring enough to share.
You might be surprised by who else reaches for a booze-free drink instead of alcohol.
Talk to the host: If you’re in a holiday party situation where you can’t bring your own beverage; openly communicate with the host or bartender that you want only non-alcoholic options. Most bars, restaurants and venues are stocking great NA beverages these days because the demand for them is so high. Often, the NA options will already be on the menu, but if they’re not, don’t feel shy or embarrassed about asking for them; be confident in yourself and the positive choices you are making. It’s more than okay to be in recovery or to choose sobriety for any reason.
Step back and witness others: Let it be your own personal Seinfeld episode; having a sober perspective can be a great way to affirm your own choice of sobriety. Also, remember to be kind and non-judgmental here. It might be shocking or uncomfortable to see others intoxicated when you’re not.
Be ready to leave: Have a solid exit plan, know where your keys are or keep the funds for your cab/Uber/bus/transport in your pocket. Give yourself permission to go as soon as you feel uncomfortable.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation; leaving without saying goodbye is an acceptable strategy if you feel unsafe, triggered or compromised.
The morning after the party or event, take inventory: Reflect on your sober experience. What positives stand out to you? What was hard or triggering? What would you do differently next time? Are you grateful to wake up refreshed and not hungover? Are you glad that you’re not the water cooler topic because of your poor behavior? Take time to write down your reflections and what you’re proud of as a sober party-goer.
Remember: Plan ahead. Reach out! Ask for help. You got this!
If you want to talk through these strategies with someone who’s been there, you can book a call with our Peer Specialist, Heather Hopper. Heather is here to help you make a solid plan so you can navigate holiday triggers with confidence!
Written by Heather Hopper, Recovery Resources Executive Assistant and Peer Support Specialist
