Why is recovery SO. Dang. Hard?
That’s a big, messy question with hundreds of jumbled-up answers. If you’ve been through the recovery process, or are in the thick of it now, that question has likely hammered against your head more than once. And probably these questions too:
What am I doing wrong? Shouldn’t this be easier?
Why is it so dang tough to find a straightforward, linear path that leads us happily away from substance use and addiction without setbacks? A few people manage to do that, which is amazing. But, for the vast majority of us, the path to recovery looks more like a spiders-web of logging roads with downed trees, flooded stream-crossings and unmarked junctions.
Bottom line: it’s tough going, confusing and non-linear.
Most of us come face-to-face with some real barriers on our path to recovery. There are daily ups and downs for sure, and probably more than one moment where we have no idea which way to go, what the right decision is. There might also be times when we don’t feel like we have the tools we need to move forward, whether that’s skills, resources or support.
Here’s the thing: you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just HARD.
In these tough times, we need kindness, affirmation and support. Because you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just a really hard process. You need to find your way, learn what works for you and accept what doesn’t. In that process of learning, you’re not going to stick it all the time. You’ll take wrong turns, slip up and make mistakes, and that’s okay. We all do!
Even relapse is a part of the journey.
We don’t want to make mistakes or slip up, but it happens, and when it does, being kind to ourselves can help rebuild our confidence to keep going. Being kind to ourselves is often harder than being kind to others…but it’s so important. When mistakes happen, make sure you take time to take accountability for them in a healthy way, but don’t dwell on them. Mistakes are there to help us learn, but they don’t define us.
Ask yourself, “How can I learn from this so it doesn’t happen again?”
Our ability to learn and grow is infinite. When the journey of recovery gets hard, when you hit a bump in the road, or two…or three…Remember to be kind to yourself. Lean into your support system and keep going. Even the smallest positive things you do today will add up to big growth in the long term.
That healthy recovery life you dream of is still up ahead.
See you next week!
Kelsey
Kelsey Brasseur, INHC
Director of Recovery Programs
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