5 Proven Ways to Build Healthier Relationships
Relationships are an integral part of our lives. When healthy, relationships can bring us joy, support and comfort. When unhealthy or toxic, they can cause anger, frustration, sadness, low self-esteem, and keep us stuck in bad habit loops.
The relationships in our lives take on many different forms, from working relationships with coworkers, to relationships with family members, romantic relationships and friendships. While each of these relationships will look very different, the same 5 principles apply making each stronger and healthier.
Here are our Top 5 Tips for Building Stronger, Healthier Relationships
Set Boundaries:
Setting boundaries is a healthy part of every relationship, from letting coworkers know when they can and cannot contact you outside of work, to letting your child know what time they can wake you up on a Saturday morning, to letting your partner know that you need alone time after work to go for a run at least 3 evenings a week. Setting boundaries starts with determining what you need to feel healthy in different relationships, communicating those needs with the appropriate people, and then holding others accountable to respecting those needs with kind but firm reminders.
Communicate Honestly:
It is important to communicate your wants, needs and expectations in any relationship. You might communicate your expectations for some time spent alone each day while visiting family for the holidays or communicate that you need more help with household chores from your partner or roommate. Making these asks can feel hard at first, especially if you have a tendency to avoid problems. But being honest about your needs is essential for ensuring that they are met and for avoiding anger and resentment later in the relationship.
Related: 5 Tips to Ask for Help with Confidence
Listen Attentively:
Just as you want to be heard, it is essential that you make time to listen attentively to your friends and loved ones. Whether they are setting a boundary with you, asking for help, or just telling you about their day, give them your undivided attention. Everyone likes to feel like they are being heard and understood, and you don’t want to miss something important that might lead to an unnecessary conflict or hurt feelings down the line. If you aren’t able to make time to listen attentively at that exact moment, let the person know that you care about what they have to say and can give them your full attention in, for example, 10 minutes when you’ve finished X task.
Make Time:
No relationship can flourish without spending quality time with the other person. We all have busy lives, but it’s important to choose which relationships we want to prioritize and carve out time each day, week and/or month to spend with those people. For example, you might take 20 minutes each evening to read to your young children before bed or make taking them to the playground every Saturday throughout the summer a priority. You might make time to call your parents once a week while you take a walk in the sunshine and make Sunday morning coffee plans with a good friend once or twice a month. You and your spouse might plan a date night once a month to enjoy each other’s company and talk about your relationship, and you might make time to wind down for bed together by watching a tv show and cuddling on the couch.
Every relationship is different and requires different amounts of care and quality time, but making time for each regularly will bring you closer together.
Show Respect, Support and Appreciation:
Everyone from your spouse to your child deserves respect, and you can show those you care about respect by listening to their wants and needs and adhering to their boundaries. Now take that an extra step further by showing them how much you appreciate them and supporting them in their wants, needs and goals. This could look like offering to take the kids to soccer practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays so your spouse can go to the gym and achieve their health and fitness goals or nicely reminding your partner that they said they want to cut down on their sugar consumption when they reach for a box of cookies at the grocery store. You can show your friend or partner how much you appreciate them by cooking them a nice dinner, surprising them with their favorite treat, or offering to help them with a project they’ve been talking about needing to do for a while.
However you show support and appreciation, your friends and loved ones will in turn appreciate you more and want to show you support and appreciation in return, making everyone's lives that much better.
Looking for help healing broken and strained relationships?
We offer individual and group counseling sessions for the families of those struggling with substance misuse and addiction. These sessions are designed to provide every family member with education, support and vital tools for working with a loved one who is struggling with substance use and healing strained and broken relationships.
We offer flexible in-person and virtual sessions, with open scheduling to fit your family’s needs, and we now accept Medicaid for all sessions.
Written by Liz Haas, Recovery Resources Outreach Specialist
